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A Lesson For Mark Nicholas
By Tabrez Janjua for Stani Army in International Cricket, Pakistan Cricket
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Mark Nicholas – Wishes he was Australian
The constant derision and mockery from the Australian team of commentators throughout the Test series that has just finished left me increasingly sensitive and aware of their every comment. In the 79th over of Pakistan’s first innings in the last Test, Salman Butt brought up his century and took off his helmet to do the sajda (prostration). Mark Nicholas, a ‘great friend’ of Pakistan cricket, then uttered something along the lines of:
“There seems to be a break play. Salman Butt is having his moment of worship…[pause]…which he is entitled to of course, but he also seemed to summon a drink or something”.
Now you would have to have listened to it to know exactly what was going on here with his tone of voice and what he was implying. Nicholas, as any keen follower of cricket will know, has a habit of sucking up to the Australians, and here he was at his sycophantic best. In order to try and please his fellow commentators, who were Australian, he thought he’d criticise Salman Butt for stopping play and calling for drinks when Butt was doing nothing of the sort. When Nicholas realised that Butt wasn’t calling for drinks, he immediately started complimenting him on his century in an effort to draw attention away from his previous comment and what he was trying to suggest.
Salman Butt, points (inset), before going into sajda (prostration)
What Salman Butt actually did was ask Shoaib Malik, his batting partner, the direction of prayer before he prostrated. Nicholas’ ignorance or antipathy I should say, saw this as a signal for drinks. He wasn’t the only one agitated – there were a few secular nihilistic yobs in the crowd that didn’t like it either, but prostrating takes up no more time than running around punching the air like a little child (Shane Watson et al).
So, we can excuse your ignorance this time Mark, but now that you know, don’t do it again.
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January 19th, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Yaar it is just a phrase Stani
January 19th, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I quite enjoy Mark Nicholas’s commentary. He has a great enthusiasm for the game. A top presenter.
January 19th, 2010 at 6:30 pm
Commentary through out this series was little fishy a bit too harsh at times and a bit too much criticism at times although one could say overall cricket displayed by Pakistan was also matching the level of commentary.
I always enjoyed commentary in Australia specially remembering those VB series and Wasim Akram’s team as it is very enthusiastic and insightful unlike the boring commentary of some Indian, English and lately South African’s. One thing I missed this time was lack of Pakistani commentators there should be at least one or two.
January 19th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Wasim is at the U19WC commentating
January 19th, 2010 at 7:40 pm
Akram that is LOL
January 20th, 2010 at 3:56 am
Maz
You really are demonstrating your youth! The world is not as innocent and friendly as it may seem dear boy. Mark Nicholas accused Pakistan of ball tampering in 2001. Also, his enthusiasm that we hear is for Australia, not for the game
Reverse
I can say for sure that Sky’s commentary team would not have mocked and made sly remarks like the likes of Benaud, Slater, Nicholas, Greig, Lawry and Taylor were. There was an undercurrent to their every utterance.
Yes, I think there should have been some Pakistani commentator….probably Sohail and Wasim (Akram Maz! not our one!) being the better of ours. Rambo Ramiz takes unbiasedness to an unheard of extreme and begins to support the opposition!
January 20th, 2010 at 4:06 pm
hahaha Rambo Ramiz, he is strange when he is good he is shoulder to shoulder with great commentators but often he tend to say strange things may be just to stay unbiased.
January 20th, 2010 at 5:16 pm
http://www.cricinfo.com/u19wc2010/engine/current/match/432016.html
We are in the quarter finals! This is extra special this time around because if we win the competition then we have won the U19WC the most times, overtaking Australia who have also won the competition twice like Pak.
Babar Azam(15 years of age at Pakistani dodgy age) has produced another top innings with a score of 92 to consolidate on his 129 and 40no in the previous two matches, whereas a top friend of mine Usman Qadir has taken 8 wickets in just 3 matches. I say get them into the national team
Just for everybody’s awareness the quarter final will be played on Friday night televised on Sky and it will be against either India or England ! What a match in prospect !
January 20th, 2010 at 5:18 pm
Ajmal Shahzad 4 England. He wants to be England’s next all rounder ! Best wishes to the British Asian chap
January 20th, 2010 at 7:17 pm
Reverse
….although he’s not a bad umpire (Asad Rauf!)
Rambo just wants to be loved
Maz
Thanks for the heads up! I think if we do get the record, people will just question whether our youngsters are really qualified under-19s.
I hope Shahzad’s career is not messed around with just like the other asians in the past that have broken into the England first team ranks. In 5-10 years time, half the English team will be of Asian origin as their natural God given ability comes to the fore.
January 25th, 2010 at 8:28 pm
Mark Nicholas typical :” Boy Geej that is ripper.hahahehe this is gr8 stuff it just really is hahah and a true pleasure for everyone to witness too ” !
He can’t control himself Stani
January 26th, 2010 at 12:17 am
Maz
I take it he was talking about an Australian player!
January 29th, 2010 at 1:18 am
“there were a few secular nihilistic yobs in the crowd that didn’t like it either, but prostrating takes up no more time than running around punching the air like a little child (Shane Watson et al).”
hahaha quality. Subhannallah. Preach ittt!
January 29th, 2010 at 1:21 am
“although one could say overall cricket displayed by Pakistan was also matching the level of commentary”
In all fairness, I must agree.
January 31st, 2010 at 7:01 pm
Sis
Not yet up there with your preaching eh?
…and you don’t have to be fair you know.
February 1st, 2010 at 5:05 pm
Hi Stani
Well the moment that actually made my jaw drop was when he decided it was “well-deserved”. Since when do you have to deserve making a religious gesture, and since when does the commentator decide whether you have reached the required level or not? But one has to consider here that he probably didn’t even think about his words and their meaning and just kept babbling thoughtlessly.
Cheers,
Wes
February 1st, 2010 at 7:26 pm
Hiya Wes,
His thoughtless babbling is the scary bit. Had he had time to think, then he would have hidden his real opinions.
February 4th, 2010 at 1:21 am
The ‘in all fairness’ was the diplomatic lawyer coming out…
btw when will you start tagging Inzi?
February 4th, 2010 at 2:53 am
Sis
Lawyers are diplomatic? Where? Ok, I admit, bad lawyers are diplomatic, but bad Lawyers are generally good people too; it is why they are bad lawyers.
Which brings me to my next point. A good lawyer would have spotted the big bear Inzamam’s name tagged in the “Chappell’s Fascination With Yousuf” post. You’re a bad lawyer, but I’m glad
February 4th, 2010 at 3:41 pm
February 4th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Speechless? Some would say that’s a first.
….and just to be clear, you still have to pass your exams though.
February 4th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
its not a first. so some would be wrong!
and you dont have to be clear you know…
February 4th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Ouch!
That was very good so I won’t sue you for plagiarism….you know.